Have you defined “love”?

I follow a dating expert on Facebook, her name is Melanie Verstraete.

She posed an interesting question on Facebook: "Do you consider yourself good or bad at love?"

The following was roughly my response.

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By my definition of love, more good.

I define love as "How much you are willing to give up for a person, thing, or idea, that also brings you compounding joy in the long run.

If I love someone, I'm willing to sacrifice time and money for them.

I won't take a day off work for most people, but for my mom, I will.

Now, romantic love I haven't had much success with. However, that's more because I haven't found someone to love who will also love (sacrifice for) me to the same extent and holds the same values I do.

There is still much work to be done in this area. I can still do better and give up more for the people I love, but it all starts with defining the word.

::

So, what does this mean? And what should you do next?

Come up with your own definition. You don't have to accept mine, just know very clearly what yours is.

I got a good chunk of my definition from Alex Hormozi. I adapted it a bit, but I already agreed with his definition.

Defining love helps you get clear on when you’re giving it, and when you know you’re getting it the way you need it.

Defining love helps you get clear on when you're giving it and when you know you're getting it the way you need it.

Not the way you were programmed to.

With me, I know I love someone when I'm willing to spend money on gifts, dinner, or experiences for or with them.

When I give them my time, especially when I'd rather be doing something else, like playing Fortnite instead of digging a giant hole with a pickaxe.

....Actually, digging the hole with my friend Kyle from Little Taller was 100 times more fun than all the times I've gone clubbing put together. It's crazy how perspective shifts in your 30s.

An idea I was once in love with was creating a new society from scratch to foster a better generation and facilitate further discoveries in science.

I was willing to give up joy, time, and having kids, all in pursuit of this idea.

I’ve fallen out of love with that idea. Not completely, but mostly.

I know it because I’m not willing to give up my joy anymore.

I’d rather love a different idea, such as the Idea of “living my life to help advance my friends in their goals.”

That’s the other thing about love.

It’s okay to stop loving.

But you better make sure YOU are CLEAR about what love is.

Cue song.

🎶What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me…

…No more🎶

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