Misery is tastes best when shared

Charlie: “This fucking sucks.”

Ian: “I know, we’ve been pinned down in this hut for days.”

Charlie: “We’re going to run out of food soon.”

Ian: “Just hang in there, we’ll get out of this together, we always do brother.”

Why is it that people in the military are often so close with their squadron?

Is it becuase the military has friendship seminars?

Probably not….

I suspect it's because relationships are often strengthened through mutual suffering. Especially when you have to rely on one another to get out of whatever difficult situation you are both experiencing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently because I’ve done a lot of suffering alone.

Suffering alone

You’re carrying all the weight, all completed tasks are up to you, and there’s no one there to help relieve the pain with a laugh.

My buddy Kyle and I are building a patio in his rental houses backyard.

Making this thing kind of just… sucks.

Step 1 was digging up a shit ton of dirt to get the depth we wanted with a pick axe and shovel.

On Step 2 we decided to get a tiller to do the work for us, it was faster for sure, but we still had to move the dirt out of the back yard.

Step 3 Move the dirt. this took 3 trips loading… then unloading the dirt.

via GIPHY

There were more steps, but you get the gist. It was back breaking work.

Yet, I was having more fun doing this than being at any club I’ve ever been to.

We both agreed it was terrible, but we were also laughing the entire time. Or having some pseudo-intellectual discussion about what it would be like to be abducted by aliens.

We were just being miserable together.

Which made being miserable, well, not so miserable.

Now, there is a caveat to this.

There are people who can make being miserable, even more miserable.

So it’s important to find someone to be miserable with who is at an equal level of misery, and doesn’t overtly complain about the task at hand. This one works if your miserable counterpart is willing to “dig” in and get through the misery with you.

Or.

Just share in the misery.

So who do you most enjoy sharing misery with?