The teenager in your head

Think back to when you were in high school or middle school.

Think about a person that was hyper critical of you.

Maybe a bully

But more likely a best friend

Or an ex boyfriend or girlfriend

Have the person in mind?

What would they say to you that wasn’t kind, or was maybe a backhanded compliment?

Now, recall how you talk to yourself in negative ways.

Do they match up?

Are they close?

If so, you have a teenager dictating your behavior as an adult.

Although not on purpose, this person from your past, unknowingly, rooted their beliefs and views of the world into you.

Mine was a close friend we’ll call him B. It wasn’t intentional what he did, it was actually rarely even directed towards me.

He would criticize everyone. Relentlessly. Few people were good enough to be okayed by him, and I (or the metaphorical you) felt anointed to be called his friend, a chosen one if you will.

But there was always the fear that if you did anything he didn’t like, you’d be cut from his life. I’d seen it before, and without my conscious mind, being aware of it, it terrified me. So, I’d adopt his beliefs and views of the world so he would continue to be my friend, some that stuck with me for years.

Such as disliking certain types of people, when I really didn’t dislike, or want to dislike them, at all.

My views of women are also heavily shaped by him, if you hooked up with an ugly or fat girl, you’d get ridiculed. While being showered in praise by hooking up with a hot girl. And the more attractive she was, the more praise you received more frequently, sometimes for years.

I now only desire dating gorgeous women. Which has lead to serious feelings of unworthiness, and a lot of dissatisfaction and pain.

His voice is the one I’m still working on evicting from my head, want help evicting the people taking up real-estate in yours?

…And replace it with your own, stronger voice?

Lets make it happen together.

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